Should i commit suicide?

I yearned to travel yet was deprived of going somewhere else yet so near. I know my people around me tend to worry about my safety and lot of things.
All i wish is small thing able to travel see world.. yet was deprived..
I been asking for it... but they won't allow it.. What can i do when my family thinking was so conservative and protective.
Should i commit suicide or let it pass by? No way.. it seems not fair to me.. whY they can go so far n further to other countries.. Yet my request travel to malaysia not granted?
I knew they won't trust my judgement.. then why bother with my life...
My life was like an enclosed cage similar to zoo...
Ever since important person in my life was no longer around.. , i all wished is to travel other places with my other half.. Nobody will know what will happen in future..
Nobody can predict .. Today we live.. but will my tomorrow come...? Nobody know.
People i knew can be quite selfish and never think of me as human being..Or family. Never thought of taking me to travel with them.
Now i am grown up.. no longer want to travel with them
I just only want to travel with only one who can take me traveling sightseeing...

Yesterday i go to travel fair.. Wow so many people turned up at fair because travel packages look attractive and cheap.. .. Then my darling ask me whether do i want travel or not? I was indecisive and my family got hold of my passport.. How do caged person like me able to travel?
Though now i have freedom go out anytime or home late.. But.. singapore can be boring at times.. I yearn go to other places shopping or travel... What the hell... why that i can't do that? Sigh..
At the fair, my darling and i bumped onto old friend of ours.. He was deaf , older than me ..yet can travel alone to other countries.. Wow.. i was so envious and yet jealous..of him.. O_o..
I told him truth .. and he says oH god..
This friend of ours was so nice.. and even suggested lot of ways .. yet won't work out the way i wanted it to be.. He even asked my darling.. when he can take me traveling.. i told him Hard...

I still thinking.. what i want to do this time? I don't know.. and lament why i make lotsa mistakes..
sigh....... All i don't want to live anymore.. this way........... Even my siblings won't help me out..
Sucks hella.. They thought my darling will sell me off when i knew he won't do that..
I was damned pissed off.. and they wont trust my judgement.. So only way out for me vent out my angers on here.. Though i knew my problems can be trivial and small matter..

As i explained already, my dreams is to travel... THough i used to travel on cruises..cruise is damned boring.. all is about shaking body on cruise only never went out... venture.. dAmned boring......

As i mentioned earlier.. My siblings can be damned selfish.. and won't ask me single question whether want travel with them when they took mum travel to Hong KOng.. I was damned pissed off..
One time, my mum asked me want go to taiwan when she was supposed go for religious test .. crazy and stupid idea when i am grown up.. .. ARghhh..

I dare say foul word people never heard of me say before..

All i wish my family don't interfere TOO much with my life what i want to do..
STOP INTERFERE.. I HAVE ENOUGH of this life...

Perhaps i think too much that.. i wont be able to travel one day.. just passing remark only..
All i want to do simple thing.. is to travel.. THEY all think too much and read too much of 1 thing..
NOw i post this on blog... is to show unhappiness..
I been waiting for a chance to travel.. in past.. Now i have chance.. but deprived...
All they want to deprive me of chance and things i want to do..

I want ask people out there.. What you will do if you are in my shoes?