read sad blog yesterday

Yesterday nite, i have done my stuffs before go to sleep. But i happen chance upon this blog from somewhere. That blog i read was in hold memory of my friend whom his other friends set up so all can write in. An entry written by his brother which send message to my mind and i was already teary upon reading whole entry. I don't wish to mention sad history which has long been gone and we can't turn back clock. Ironically i wish that i never attend religious meeting with my mother and follow buddhism. From that time, i know him from that meeting because he once play with my young siblings when they are small studying primary school. While i listen to lessons in class. Actually, i don't know what is his name? Perhaps he always love to seek fun and talk alot with my siblings and catch my attention. Hence, i ask my mother this question:" mummy, who is this small boy who always playing with my sis and bro?" Then my mum said" Ziqiang", so i say it out , oh i see :" ziqiang.." Plus wat an coincidence , we bump onto each other at Poly because i find him familiar whom i seen before at meeting place i can't recall his name. Because, he rarely attend meeting perhaps busy with his activities. But i do still attend the meetings.
All i just don't want to see it end this way, it cut my heart into pieces and that my religious family lost one member. What come to my mind when i knew of his demise? I thought of his mother whom i also know too. I feel that we do all take everything for granted. Though i never had strike conversation with him before. But once i know people and make a friend once forever is friend. That's my thinking. I don't know. During sec sch times, i have lost Sunshine male classmate whom he always crack jokes in class and make point to greet all of us :" Good morning"whenever we bump onto him every morning or Goodbye after school. though this is all small things of basic courtesy. From that experience of losing this classmate of mine, i begin to stay away from making friends and no longer do basic courtesy which i used to say hi, good morning n goodbye to him before.
I am not escaping reality and just don't want be upset too much. I guess i am weak emotionally and always keep things to myself. All i want to say if only i never follow buddhism or whatever. Now once a while , outside in the street i seen boy or guy wearing polo or walking behaviour somehow resemble him. Gosh i want to erase my memory. Those who is close to me should know of my photogenic memory. Now i wish to suffer dementia as ever.