Thinking and wondering..
Do we have to work till we die or grow old before i can achieve my long term dream of traveling.. ? I know traveling need $$ and is dangerous around the world..
Alas..
perhaps my thinking is too extreme.. especially i am growing up in protected environment like enclosed cage example..zoo..
Hahaha
That's why i hated people's views of me,especially my own family tend to belittle my own ability and instinct let it be studying or working outside..
How to say? I don't wish to dwell on past...
It set me in thinking...
Sigh.. I wonder whether i got working or not working, i still cant get to travel outside with my girl/boy friend to nearby country.. So sad.. that's why my mind tend to be narrow minded..
Know why? I don't know.. don't ask me..
I can say an example.. one thing i know is my own family don't know that few times when i was young and dared venture around town area alone unfamilar to me.. yet i can be independant and know my way around. ah ha.. know what.. nobody know.. Like one time visit my aunt in new town.. then later i can move my way around new town.. mind you.. i am not road moron.. who the hell person is map idiot.. haha. i am not one..
Studying is which i don't excel in when in primary school. always score last in class.. yeah.. but i think this way being last mean being 1st.. haha lol..
I don't care less.. =P
Not until i come to my senses......yeah i wake up at that time, no more lazy and keep playing... is end for me.. haha
i can be motivated greatly on my own.. Unbelievable right.. when my own family never really bother encouraged me to study hard especially my own elder sister.. sigh..
i don't know what to say.. i am in low mood at this moment.. perhaps i think too much...
Now now i am all grown up and tied tightly to the string like a kite, held by my family.. lol
can you imagine it?
Know what.. i can push myself to great lengths to work hard towards my goals.. thankfully and thank god who give me 5 years let me give great present to my own late grandmother...who has been my support of encouragement and given lot of things i never expect much from her.. Love you dearly ah mah...
So my late grandma can feel proud of her favorite daughter who work hard to overcome those obstacles.
Come to recall who has been great help to my life.. without them there would be no me in here blogging away.. haha i am grateful to my dearest 3rd aunt who encourage and believe in my ability of studying.. that she never give me slight pressure..
There are too many people i am grateful to for their encouragement.. I love them..
Top 3 people i feel too grateful are 3rd aunt, late grandma and one of my friend joanne.. rest are relatives.. without them, i almost could not graduate in my studies.. One person who give me golden advice is my 4th aunt who suggest that i try ITE go on to study.. ITE mean in the end.. haha not true..Without her advice.. i would not be able give my late grandma best present.. too many people to mention.. Funny and ironical.. thing.. though i would not be here without my parents who bring me to this world... that i should be filial to them.. My own parents never encourage me in my studies ever though they did care about my welfare and hearing disabilities.. what i want is to be recognized in past cannot be achieved .. haha funny joke.. young am i.. never do much seek their attention become invisible vase before my own family.. haha..
I was not that important in my family from young till today. and not highly regarded in family statue. I wonder why? Now they took notice of me when i am that grown up with my own life.I loved that feeling of importance when my late grandma has me in her heart and place as well..almost my uncles and aunts knew my grandma doted on me most.. i was at least more happy to have known ah mah..Now she's all gone.. no more feeling of importance.. Know why? only my late grandma always smile and happy at mention of my doing well in studies.. and could ask my 3rd aunt buy me nice present like food.. not quite expensive just my favorite food.. yummy.. she knows me well =)
So this life i am quite content with..however, when i knew my wishes can't be fulfill like give ceremony tea to my ah mah..
My elder sister mention we have to move on with life.. i know that.. i really want to move on.. but i wish to fulfill my dream .. work can come later.. why must we have to work till we die or grow old can see the world.. .. I don't want that..
Anyone can advise me what i can do with my lack of skills and hearing disabilities..?
I really hate myself alot.. I can't blame anyone.. except myself.. I am tired..
Why my own sisters can be selfish? While i cant be? i am tired.. I hate being 2nd in family.. acting as fiddle not important in family ..My 2 married sisters are great and selfish expect me to shoulder responsibilities look after my parents. O_O''
yeah they did mention share responsibilities.. HUh uh.. when they single, never bother accompany mum for short period just coz' they too busy working and dating huh.. huh i don't buy that.. HMMpf.. now married happily and can afford time accompany mum and control my life.. blah blah interfere way too much.. I was already pissed off.. sigh.........
Points taken.. when they studying in school, they never thought of stay at home accompany mum.. Never.. Only me always loved home too much during school days.. mum did tell me go out with friends.. o.o? who who ? how when i can't call up friends? freaky make me mad already..
ARGHHH i wanna scream out loud here.. FREAK Get out of my life.. and don't keep me tied to kite... i can't fly high and might snap one day like a lifeless plant.. lol
Resign to my lame fate
In Bad and rotten mood
Earlier on checking my emails, i received email from my elder sister ..This sister of mine keep thinking she is BIG ah.. always hold stupid authority in taking over matters into her hands when she already married off. I feel pissed off when i checked website link that she trying help me find job. Wow i am damned pissed off and fed up when they keep interfere with my life by help me find job. Guess what job she is trying help me find? Work at famous coffee shop YA KUN toast..? I feel like swear at her .. i was fuming mad.
Well i been unemployed haha.. i sure my being unemployed put her to shame.. Hmmm i will not reveal my age here. Know what she is a bitch,pretend to be helpful.. Yucks.. it put me off and piss me off. Few years ago upon my graduation, i been finding jobs online and offline.. newspapers. I was hard hit.. when facing no reply to interviews. what can i do? With no working experience and my hearing disabilities. Finally spent one year found part time work at KFC where i been working about 1 and half years though got promoted but pay is terrible low..
Not until i found other job with average pay working temporarily can't reveal a place.. But i don't like boss's fickle mind.. and i will go bonkers work alone in room with no pc. -_-'' terrible feeling.. i will go insane.... talking to myself alone..
Then i don't care and quit job. Yeah i know find job is not easy.. i knew it right.. u want me carrying on working that environment which will make me insane anytime.. ..o.o until i found job.
I don't want to work full time job already.. because have to sign stupid contract.. I prefer be free as bird.. so i choose part time.. job.. Since i know few online can earn money though not much.. No choice.. maybe i decide go out work part time.. no choice when i found online earn income is damned hard.. IT make me stoned...
Now i just want to scream out here.. and swearing at people.. leave me out and quit interfere with my life.. Oh how i miss my lovable grandma who never hurry me find job when i used to stay with her years ago.
I know what to do with my life as long as damned people stay out of my life.. sigh.. My stupid sister think i don't have other friends.. Damn her. hell with her.
Damn her.. All owe to her.. i unable excel in my studies when living with her and family.. But i do extremely well in my studies when staying over at my grandma's house because of grandma's encouragement.
ALL of you out there know why.? I guess my problem is insignificant matter compare to unfortunate people out there.
I am second in family, play fiddle in family meant giving in to elder and younger ones. No matter what they want. I always give in the end.. Who will give in to me and ever listen to me? WHo? They are my aunt and grandma.. I loved both of them...
They always believe in my abilities of studying..and encourage me alot during my difficult times and when i face obstacles in my school. They don't doubt my abilities.. Know why? At least i knew they are only ones more happy to know i done well in my studies unlike my own family... I grew tired being angel giving in.. Hence know why? Being second is known to have fiery temper.. But i was opposite.. haha cant imagine.. right? I was known to have short temper.. that's all..
Okay enough of my rambling here.. Time to end here..
Still fuming mad with stupid sister of mine...
Should i commit suicide?
I yearned to travel yet was deprived of going somewhere else yet so near. I know my people around me tend to worry about my safety and lot of things.
All i wish is small thing able to travel see world.. yet was deprived..
I been asking for it... but they won't allow it.. What can i do when my family thinking was so conservative and protective.
Should i commit suicide or let it pass by? No way.. it seems not fair to me.. whY they can go so far n further to other countries.. Yet my request travel to malaysia not granted?
I knew they won't trust my judgement.. then why bother with my life...
My life was like an enclosed cage similar to zoo...
Ever since important person in my life was no longer around.. , i all wished is to travel other places with my other half.. Nobody will know what will happen in future..
Nobody can predict .. Today we live.. but will my tomorrow come...? Nobody know.
People i knew can be quite selfish and never think of me as human being..Or family. Never thought of taking me to travel with them.
Now i am grown up.. no longer want to travel with them
I just only want to travel with only one who can take me traveling sightseeing...
Yesterday i go to travel fair.. Wow so many people turned up at fair because travel packages look attractive and cheap.. .. Then my darling ask me whether do i want travel or not? I was indecisive and my family got hold of my passport.. How do caged person like me able to travel?
Though now i have freedom go out anytime or home late.. But.. singapore can be boring at times.. I yearn go to other places shopping or travel... What the hell... why that i can't do that? Sigh..
At the fair, my darling and i bumped onto old friend of ours.. He was deaf , older than me ..yet can travel alone to other countries.. Wow.. i was so envious and yet jealous..of him.. O_o..
I told him truth .. and he says oH god..
This friend of ours was so nice.. and even suggested lot of ways .. yet won't work out the way i wanted it to be.. He even asked my darling.. when he can take me traveling.. i told him Hard...
I still thinking.. what i want to do this time? I don't know.. and lament why i make lotsa mistakes..
sigh....... All i don't want to live anymore.. this way........... Even my siblings won't help me out..
Sucks hella.. They thought my darling will sell me off when i knew he won't do that..
I was damned pissed off.. and they wont trust my judgement.. So only way out for me vent out my angers on here.. Though i knew my problems can be trivial and small matter..
As i explained already, my dreams is to travel... THough i used to travel on cruises..cruise is damned boring.. all is about shaking body on cruise only never went out... venture.. dAmned boring......
As i mentioned earlier.. My siblings can be damned selfish.. and won't ask me single question whether want travel with them when they took mum travel to Hong KOng.. I was damned pissed off..
One time, my mum asked me want go to taiwan when she was supposed go for religious test .. crazy and stupid idea when i am grown up.. .. ARghhh..
I dare say foul word people never heard of me say before..
All i wish my family don't interfere TOO much with my life what i want to do..
STOP INTERFERE.. I HAVE ENOUGH of this life...
Perhaps i think too much that.. i wont be able to travel one day.. just passing remark only..
All i want to do simple thing.. is to travel.. THEY all think too much and read too much of 1 thing..
NOw i post this on blog... is to show unhappiness..
I been waiting for a chance to travel.. in past.. Now i have chance.. but deprived...
All they want to deprive me of chance and things i want to do..
I want ask people out there.. What you will do if you are in my shoes?
Yesterday dated 17may
Yesterday is a day which is my grandma passed away about 7days.. the time she is going home for last time.
Yesterday morning, i woke up early to go down temple pray for ah mai where her tablet is keep there. I have mixed feelings when i see my late grandpa tablet coz' his tablet also include my dearest ah mai's name. Hence, we have praying session for her. But i feel there is need for me to abstain from meat for 3 days in order to accumulate good deeds for ah mai. Hope can lessen her suffering in other world.
I keep thinking what else i can do. So i started separate blog in memory of ah mai and wish write down moments i spent with ah mai. So at same time, can give rest of family members to write down happy moments at the blog. I am scared when i grow old, my memory of my dearest ah mai will fade as time passed by. I don't know.. Not easy be strong as ever.. coz' i feel bond shared between ah mai and i.. are unspeakable.. Task is enormous i don't where to begin writing.. i was at loss.. Perhaps first find those pictures which i can relate to those events.
cremation day of my beloved grandma
Today i woke up especially early around 7am coz' i scared of being late for prayer session. Since still early so drink coffee and eat biscuits. Wow saw my dad also woke up too.. O.O'' So we watch tv news which discuss abt taiwan govt politics. Then my dad say it's too early so we sit a while .. Then dad said need call up my fourth aunt whether she is ready go off with us to ah mai's hse. My aunt say meet at mrt station at 8.30am so i told dad to go off around 8.15am.
Exact at 8.30am reach there to fetch aunt and her kids. =)
However, in my dad's van got 2 kids who are in primary school ask me ridiculous riddle.. which i knew exact answer.. take me stupig huh.. i just say any answer similar to that answer. While talking anything .. then we encountered short traffic jam around farrer road. Finally reach there around exact 9am plus..
I immediately take cloth stick on my right side sleeve and pay respects to ah mai. Also look at her for last time and bide my farewell to her..
Finally the monk came and begin prayer session. Usual chanting and bowing 3 times in front of ah mai. Final session is to hold items to praying which is applicable to all daughters and sons of ah mai. Sigh Why cant customs change abit? I am Ah mai's favourite granddaughter.. can't i hold items to pray for ah mai.
Done prayer around 11am. According to custom, we all have to walk distance to send off ah mai to her journey to other world. Then halfway we board bus which take us to mandai columbarium, where there's lot of expressway taking about 30 to 45 mins to reach. We reach there before 12pm.. exact at 11.45pm. do chanting prayer. I never expect hall 2 cold.... But ppl at mandai take us to place where we can view my ah mai coffin. I see it is appearing at left side corner which it is being moved to other mover. Gradually, it move slow slow towards the furnace where the door is open for the coffin. Half of us are crying.. But i am not crying coz' i need to be strong.. and deliver my promise as i made to ah mai.
Done viewing, we all went outside and take off our socks which have to be thrown away. Once done wear our shoes, we all go to toilet to relive ourselves. We all waiting for awhile before going off to temple where we have set up tablet for my ah mai, where it is located near tan tock seng hospital.. novena area.. Of course, we have do prayer and kneeling, holding items to pray...My wishes are granted as i wish to hold items to pray to ah mai. I remember we done exact ard 12.45 to 1pm and go back ah mai's hse downstairs makan lunch.. We are being served 5 dishes and a dessert.. so much that i am bloated. O.O coz' i eat too hurriedly ..WEll due to time limit, we have to rush back to mandai collect my ah mai's ashes which should end around 2pm.
After lunch finish exact at 2pm plus, we all go off to mandai ard 2.30pm.. because one of my relative have to pay bills at one go by cheque at last min.
We reach there nearly exact ard 3pm plus, we waited a while for someone who will be doing ashes placement into urn. We all being led into a room where we all can take one of bones placed inside urn. 1st, all sons of ah mai placed 50 cents coins into urn be4 can put bones... Seeing full of bones.. signify my ah mai already cremated and became bag of bones... I somehow feel at loss and pick bone to urn with heavy heart. I begin to think alot about ah mai.. tears began trickle down by itself... when i realized ah mai is gone 4ever and she remain in my heart. I think exact around be4 4pm we done ashes into urn.. we go off to mount vernon put urn together with my late grandpa.. At mount vernon, we do prayer 4 ah mai first whom monk will do chanting... while waiting for other ppl come in half an hour who is in charge of open my late grandpa's place and put inside my ah mai's urn together with it.
so all done at 5.20pm.. then we went back my ah mai's hse change white shirt into other shirt ..
Finally, my mum keep hurrying me and i immediately speed off.. to hawker centre makan abit.. tat's exact 6pm...Coz' my bro order claypot rice .. which take ages to be cooked.. so We finish dinner at 7pm.. hence i came home around 8pm. I was feeling tired physically from all those events. If i ever cried too much, i will collapse earlier. If not, you wont be reading this blog.
More will be updated later
Demise of my Beloved Ah Mai.....
For past a week, i been visiting my dearest grandma at hospital who is hospitalized on 1st may (labour's day) due to doctor's discovery of hollow hole near neck part. I came to know news of my ah mai ( granny) from my aunt and mum. I was totally stoned hear she is hospitalized. Not coz' i was heartless.. just speechless dunno what to do. My ah mai always doted and loved me most among all her grandchildren. Seems my whole family and relatives said that i am apple of eye in my ah mai's eye. Seem whenever i give her any food, she will eat or finish it up.
Hollow hole near my ah mai's neck is result of flesh eating bacteria. I was stoned and hear this fatal disease will eat up flesh by bacteria. On 2nd may, i went to visit ah mai with my whole family.. I seen her neck being bandaged due to surgery clean neck area part which is being eaten away by bacteria. I feel sad seeing her to suffer so much in pain. Not until few days later after her surgery, her condition is very critical. Which i heard that one monday morning, ah mai have heart attack and has stopped once. All owe to nurses and doctor's hard work whom they perform CPR shock on her chest, eventually saved her life and pulled her back.
Henceforth, upon hearing her critical condition that i began visit her often. Whenever i visit her, i will see her hands being swollen due to tube attached on her. Those tubes is filled with medicine to help her fight bacteria. However, i saw her hands being tied up coz' one time she did bang on bed in vent frustration as she is unable to speak, which she lost her voice box. It saddened me to hear that i wont hear her laughter i always never fail coax and make her laugh so loud.
Not until one time, my cousin's friend who works at ICU where my ah mai is warded informed us that her condition is not looking good as her blood pressure is dropping low level.
I heard that she always respond by moved her lips abit or blink her eyes or twist tight on her forehead whenever we call out her or talk with her.
I did greet her AH Mai everytime i visit her. I don't know why i nvr cry. Perhaps i don't want worry her. She suffer too much already.
Not until one fri dated on 9 may, i did greet her ah mai repeatedly that time i did see her blink eyes, she tried open her eyes twice just see me by responding me. However, i heard that my elder aunt did call her but she nvr responded. Becoz' i heard her condition is not good, nowadays she dont respond to ppl's greetings. Everytime i visit her, it saddened me to see her suffering in pain. When i look at her, i gently touched her forehead and her cheeks as i used to play pranks on her. It make her happier whenever i purposely play with her. It hurt me so much whenever i think of times i spent with ah mai. In order not let her to suffer too much anymore, we advise my 3rd aunt who is closet to ah mai, to talk with her to let go of everything and be free of suffering. Hence she has talked to her and my ah mai shown no response to my aunt words.
One saturday, almost all family and relatives turned up visit her which that time her condition is not good coz' her blood pressure is dropping low. That day, i have premonition about ah mai will leave us anytime. Not until dusk falls, some relatives go home already while i say i still want stay over nite due to my elder sis say my ah mai's blood pressure is low at 38 .. which make my premonition come true. My hunch is that ah mai make sure some of us will go back den she will leave us.. my guess is correct. almost half of ppl visit her in daytime go home already include all kids.. At least all of us did visit her.. But that day, i did ask aunt whether can i say some words to ah mai.. Coz' i dun wan ah mai suffer anymore in tis way. Coz' almost all uncles or aunts have told her stuffs i dunno wat they said to her. But it hurt me so much that i have to tell her that Ah Mai! dont worry abt us. We will be strong, will live, eat well and be happy. I even asked her. Do you trust joanne who will help 3rd aunt? I even told her.. Let go if you feel tired or feel pain ? also i keep repeat.. don't worry abt us.. WE all grown ups already and will take care of ourselves.
After those words i said ard 9pm.. Not until my ah mai passed on peacefully at 11 plus.. i was there witness her passed away which i keep seeing ASY mean zero heartbeat.. blood pressure drop to low level 20 + .. It make me stoned... Yet i nvr cry, know y i dun wan ah mai turn back to suffer again. Coz' i knew she will worry abt us.
Then around 15 mins plus, i go inside ICU again just see ah mai again. Not until i follow elder aunt and others inside.. i saw elder aunt rushing inside to hear what doctor say.. She fall down which shocked all of us present seeing her in panic and sadness.. Den i see 3rd uncle immediately hold her up and hug her tight as he wanted to make sure she's alright. I was worried abt her fall. =(
I go to ah mai's ward say last words to her. Ah mai, go slowly to other world and dont turn back. Once again for last time, i touched ah mai's forehead and said silently .. Farewell my beloved ah mai.. Be on the way to other world. It hurt me so much just say those words to her.. It make me sadder...
After see ah mai, we all went outside.. and discuss funeral preparations. Not until my 4th aunt reappeared after 20 mins plus. I see her so pale and panting away in anxious.. then she asked :" Is ah mai passed away? Elder aunt says yes. 4th aunt began sobbed hard. While i hold her arm and found it is bleeding from bad fall she experienced. I lead her to sit down while pat on her head.. don't cry.. i always hold tears be strong so can console others.
I also see my other elder cousin crying alot.. and i began console her that ah mai no longer have to suffer anymore.. I said juz let go of her.. and let her be free of suffering.
So many unexpected events happen on that day. Does it make me strong than before. I don't know.. Becoz' today is my ah mai's cremation day... All i know i will cherish happy moments i spend with ah mai..
Frankly speaking, ah mai is fortunate seeing some getting married and have great grand children... However, only regret is that she is unable see her favourite granddaughter get married and nvr get to drink ceremony tea...
Nonethess.. i love you Ah mai.. Farewell my ah mai. I was happy to know that you end sufferings and no longer have to worry about us. Thanks for Love and Doting on Me..
I was already emotional... when thinking of past... and happy moments.. i will always remembered... dearly..
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New blog updated
Laughing out loud.. i take ages to create blog.. Am i so slow..? Anyways, nobody wanna read.. very boring. Hmmm this one is updated and i gotta post link there.
Just trying it out. hmmm next one is different blog i will be creating later on. Hmmm
Just create abit of mystery air.. hehe
Thinking hard in this windy evening
Been planning of it for long time and i need write stuffs on separate blog sites. Because i feel that there is need to separate my personal and online business, in order making this nice and neat site for viewing. Which i aim to do 3 blogs on different subjects. I am really at loss how to start working on this mini project of mine. Haha. Hmm my darling is better than me because he began work faster than me. Well you can check out link titled lottery for fun at the right side of this page. I guess my blog is kinda boring to read. Nonetheless, i still carrying on blogging. Well, my motto is perseverance to end till i succeed.
I will keep you updated with more coming up... any advice for me . Just put your comments or shout there at message dialog at right side.
Thinking how to earn income online with free traffic
o.o'' All boils down to smart marketing. Ehmm does it mean make me stupig that i hardly can make sale from other people's products. The fact is that everywhere i see competition and need pay penny be4 can make sales, earn income.. o.o'' Nobody teach me except i keep read read ebooks till it got me confused haha. Do i have to use those products be4 i can recommend to others. Hey .. results may vary.. to each individuals. o.o think of a niche. hmm i Don't know what interests i have besides zzz, play games and watch tv drama and movies. I know darned need traffic traffic traffic to any sites which need real visitors not damned stupid bots there anyhow view ads where i got post there at traffic exchanges. -_-'' Importantly is how to get free traffic? Do i have to summon ghosts who will possess human beings log online see and purchase any products making them poorer than be4.. hahaha
Oh yah i am sure some people out there might wondering whether i got make sales from my website which i paid for.. Yes got earned back my money but not much leaving me wondering more how to keep earning those people claim earning 5 to 6 figure sum. o.o''
I also want earn that kind of money so i can help my family tide over $$$ problems. Damned i hate this being grown uP. What the heck of help out? Wish i can be heartless more , more selfish... haha i Knew i wont be that kind of person. Coz' i hate nagging come from my BIG sister mean elder sis laH. She keep blah blah this and that.. How am i doing , what i want to do? I not sure and i hate 9to5 job lifestyle.. sucks. Hell with those top gurus who keep claim will help people.. fact i want to know what products will sell blah blah...
All thinking give me headaches and made me more sleepy... Though i can admit i have lotsa ideas in mind but unable implement it .. taking action lOH. Know Why?? People around me tend to have more NEGATIVE views blah tis tat. meaning my close friend, family. I hate this stupig of influence.. damned negative thinking.. How am i going to succeed like that.. I don't have family support nor encouragement.. Only my darling will give me moral support.. hmm
Last of all ... i want to say i tried alot of programs, methods which those top gurus used to do be4.. But hell with them i even personally email them, then they emailed back rubbish..
Haix so what i managed 1 or 2 signed up which i joined particular programs.. Can't make money this way.... so hard... same as outside world. damned do i have to find manual work.. damned.. people out there.... Arghhh OOps am i complaining here too much.
I don't know how to stay positive and look at bright side.. haha sometimes can stay motivated.. i was not sure already. Just wish don't want to spend more dime on lame advertising.. i hate adwords... It tire me out.. Or i have to redesign my blog or add one more hidden agenda at this blog.. don't know lah.. maybe will do that.. haha :P
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New design of my blog
Haha i can say i am out of touch with html coding. because last time i know html coding which tat time don't have javascript and widgets. It totally irriates me when i tried add one script onto. WAh.. totally different templates can function well or not function well. Anyways, cheers to my darling help me fix this blog with new design.
=) haha Am i so dumb making changes to templates. Gosh almost make my blog disappear for good. hehhee However, he love mess with my blog design by putting so colorful wording.. Arghh i know basic stuff which must not put too colorful wording to it.. OR will turn many ppl away.. sobs...
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Website promotion Video
Cute nephew pic
Hmm i happen see a link from my bro-in-law msn saying Pls vote for his son who is my nephew. haha Yeah cute and can pinch his cheeks haha .. SShh luckily they dunno my blog. Anyways, everyone who got see my post here. haha
Hmm i post link here. You can go see it for urself :)
http://www.mumcentre.com/index.php?option=com_rsgallery2&catid=1464&page=vote&picid=7443
P.S: You are not obliged to vote only you feel cute.. you may do so. keke that's all folks.
Free Software Web builder
Wow.. so nice web builder great for those who are average in building website in order to earn income online. Save you lot of tons of money. keke Those who are interested just check out. haha
I also have download and see how it work for fun. hehe can save me money just testing it out.. lol
click at this link : myfreewebsitebuilder
No harm test this out 4 fun..
28feb wedding dinner
Yesterday i woke up early at 5.30am because got make up artist come in early do make up on my elder sis face. Plus i also helping mum do some stuff like paste wedding stickers on doors. O.O My eyes barely can open .. still tired. haha Wah is my ears playing tricks on me when i hear have do serve tea ceremony? Never heard of this laH O.O Have to greet Jie Fu (bro-in-law) .. o.o'''' My first time serve tea to elder sis.. stoned awhile. lol Nonetheless, i do good work so far hehe never do foolish thing may put myself to shame. Yeahhh Oh yah anymore to mention.. Got few part to add. Wah i have my role to do.. Like check on my relatives mean how many of ppl attending dinner and bring them to their tables. hehe luckily for me only got 4 tables to do haha. Oh yeah even one day one of my ger friend wanna me help with coordination of her wedding dinner. No thks. haha you can say i kind of very infinity with gal friends. :p haha I already sweat this one like my elder sis's wedding dinner .. O_O haha Before dinner, we witness her solemonisation (ROM).. having to witness 2 ROM o f my 2 sisters make me feel that wiLL i ever get to ROM... plus with mixed feelings that i maybe have no tml to speak of. I don't know why i am thinking this way. LOL... Frankly speaking having seen my 2 sisters got marry their other halves make me think alot. hehe Before proceed to the venue of wedding dinner, we got makeup artist do make up of me, mum and young sis. Wow i was speechless and shocked seeing new me.. Is it me huh? I like artist skill.. best and good. keke Even my elder sis saw me in woW and shocking expression see me which i look totally different from normal. haha Besides my sis, i also shocked my relatives.. lol they even exclaimed wow.. u even make up.. Their eyes and expression amused me.. hehe Nonetheless, they make my day.. i was so happy.. first time feel this way.. My elder sis asked whether wan take bit more pictures with her alone. o.o hehe
i feel estactic.. keke hehe just put comments there i will keep u updated through other ways.. cheeers.. I will put up photos few days or week later don't know when my sister done with photo..
That's all of my life ... hmm But only part, so disappointed when my favourite cousins never turn up because i wanna them see me in that make up which i look different from normal.. haix.. never mind.. hmm
pictures of 3rd and last wine Armege Sempe
This wine is kept in box very long time. Because i seen box so old and yellowish. I recall almost half are from hampers. Not well known wines. I also unsure of those such wines cost. Hmm thinking must be low values. Arghhh
almost 3 wines are of low values. I don't have well known wines to speak of. Sucks. never mind can sell it for money is good enough. haha This wine originate from France and come with a box. I will update of rest of some wines not included in here. Keep posted in here. Hope to hear news from people who got read this post
pictures of 2nd wine brand Dimple
This big and oval wine bottle is so unique. As far as i know, there is hardly such bottle make like this. Again i want and wish to know how much this wine fetch. Hope people can give me forums of wine valuation. Once again, same age of keep wine around 15 to 20 years already. I not sure how long and its origin. To those wine experts know alot about wines. Giggles. Oh i nearly forgot mention almost all wines neither gotten from hampers or some from duty tax airports my dad bought from. I want to add something that my family and I don't drink such wines. Just sell it away let people drink silly drunk. o.o
Pictures of wine Otard
This wine has been keep around 15 to 20 years i not sure how long my dad keep this wine. Can anyone tell me how much it will fetch if i sell it? haha
At loss don't know what future hold for me
Am i thinking too much? Why we as human beings have to struggle living our lives?
I am uncertain what i want to do with this blog? Purely as promote those sites helping others becoming more richer than before. yucks. Or can use this blog as way of revenue. Hmm harder this way because i hardly have larger circle of friends. Is it possible to achieve financial freedom online? Lol haha feeling very low spirited when i hardly see any sales online. I was stoned already. Nonetheless, beginning is always harder and nothing is easy and smooth sailing for me. Same way as those people start business outside in reality world. Right? Hey i am mixing up my blog like personal , business and others etc as topics. Well easy for me do it all in one blog. Instead of too many blogs for what. Harder to maintain so many blogs at one go. Nuts. Well i think i will go bonkers soon coz' i signed up way too many programs. haha I think i learned quite alot of things surf net online this and that. o.o '' Due to my personalties and environment i grew up, i become unsure what i want to do in this life? When no money , how to achieve my dream of traveling around the world? You want to know what did i learn so far? ... I know alot like advertising, email , affiliate program, clickbank stuffs , autoresponders, viral thingys haha.. Internet marketing related to lot of things . wow.. how how to make income from online? When i hardly see sales coming in? is it all hype??? maybe i never do it correctly. No way, i found 2 programs can work and see a bit results. It is long way before i can achieve financial freedom.
Okay i am going to put up pictures of wines i want to see how much those value. hehe i am all $$ no choice.. zoom off
Free Killer Adsense
I found this free report which contain lot of useful guide. So why not giving it away as Free? Who don't want freebies. haha hmm how to upload products in here Killer Adsense. I just post at the right side of list. U may click here or there. Up to you. LOL. Updated this blog. Here's free report which i upload to site before i got it correct. Anyways all this ftp thingy gives me headaches already. o.o'' sorry about messy linking you to tat site. haha pardon. i Wan use function of ftp but i was on tight budget. :P
Tryout of dinner gown today
i wake up early this morning before 10am so can have more time be refreshed up. Actual appointment is around 12.30pm. haha wow what am i doing waking up that early,oh man?
-_-'' I was not that thrilled wearing gown haha cause no choice owe to my elder sister's wedding dinner this coming week. What choice i have?
About trying out gown make me feel like an idiot. Because my mum is so engrossed with herself in red gown and mumbling at mirror. About my elder sister keep look at mum and even take picture of her. Hmmm i feel i was left out. haix. never mind i was used to it already. I have been an invisible figure all years. well i don't know why and that. But at least my sister got take a look around of how i wear.. she only mention just Ok to it. i even said ok. no choice. what can i do with it? I feel kind of an idiot and disappointed. If only my darling is with me, he will say this and that. Only with him, i feel elated if he mention good and change this and that. because with him i was being recognized as human alive.. not as invisible figure. Like a vase between my sister and mum.
Haix i feel so lousy already. Never mind.. oH yah i found nice freebie hope this program will earn me tons tons of $$ where i can use to travel world around. hehe i need study and learn how to do before post it here. Bleahs
thinking hard
Now stoned online midnight, feeling tired and lethargy because i never drink any coffee which is suppose to make me alert. Sigh ~ never mind just 1 day skip drink coffee. What is my blog is all about? Quite messy as i was not a blogger right? Oh i find this blog is so quiet mean nobody visit my blog. so sad.. haha
read sad blog yesterday
Yesterday nite, i have done my stuffs before go to sleep. But i happen chance upon this blog from somewhere. That blog i read was in hold memory of my friend whom his other friends set up so all can write in. An entry written by his brother which send message to my mind and i was already teary upon reading whole entry. I don't wish to mention sad history which has long been gone and we can't turn back clock. Ironically i wish that i never attend religious meeting with my mother and follow buddhism. From that time, i know him from that meeting because he once play with my young siblings when they are small studying primary school. While i listen to lessons in class. Actually, i don't know what is his name? Perhaps he always love to seek fun and talk alot with my siblings and catch my attention. Hence, i ask my mother this question:" mummy, who is this small boy who always playing with my sis and bro?" Then my mum said" Ziqiang", so i say it out , oh i see :" ziqiang.." Plus wat an coincidence , we bump onto each other at Poly because i find him familiar whom i seen before at meeting place i can't recall his name. Because, he rarely attend meeting perhaps busy with his activities. But i do still attend the meetings.
All i just don't want to see it end this way, it cut my heart into pieces and that my religious family lost one member. What come to my mind when i knew of his demise? I thought of his mother whom i also know too. I feel that we do all take everything for granted. Though i never had strike conversation with him before. But once i know people and make a friend once forever is friend. That's my thinking. I don't know. During sec sch times, i have lost Sunshine male classmate whom he always crack jokes in class and make point to greet all of us :" Good morning"whenever we bump onto him every morning or Goodbye after school. though this is all small things of basic courtesy. From that experience of losing this classmate of mine, i begin to stay away from making friends and no longer do basic courtesy which i used to say hi, good morning n goodbye to him before.
I am not escaping reality and just don't want be upset too much. I guess i am weak emotionally and always keep things to myself. All i want to say if only i never follow buddhism or whatever. Now once a while , outside in the street i seen boy or guy wearing polo or walking behaviour somehow resemble him. Gosh i want to erase my memory. Those who is close to me should know of my photogenic memory. Now i wish to suffer dementia as ever.
Helping out advertise sofa business
I been thinking hard whether do this small business need advertise. Just want to help out a bit by post at this blog. My family deal in this sofa business and been working this line for years. Despite been in business for years, there is rising of fierce competition for sofa business example, IKEA also sell sofa. But my father's company is small can't fight with large company. My father used to sponsor sofas to well known company but i can't reveal in here. Nonetheless, my father still holding on to this company which is needed support whole family. Though as his children of 4 are grown ups and cant help much with company which hardly can make meet ends. Company cant branch out due to bad management and black sheep in company i can't reveal problems. Just help out only. My father only can take in small order like making sofa, sofa cushions or sofa seating coverings material. I don't know what else i can do to help him out. All i can use my computer skills to good use to advertise his company. Do anyone need sofa, cushions,etc? I am sure my father will try do his best to deliver quality not quantity goods. If you want give me contact in regarding sofa order, drop message at the box. I will email you as soon as possible. Cheers
Sunny day make person sleepy~
haha i need break from writing on those sites. In fact, it makes my jelly brain swimming. I was not sure how to make lot of money from online. I am just giving it a try. Die or not die. Touch wood~ haha because i am Chinese and now this season is new year season mean cannot say taboo thing haha who cares? i Was quite tired finding ways earn abit money can do already. So i am giving this blog a try. Unsure will it attract visitors or not. Hmmm no care already. Hopefully will make sales from those sites i have not post it yet. later will post it once see results.
Advertising websites
Recommend safelist ; this site is good idea to promote your site through emails. Great way to earn credits and cash at same time. Free to join and sign up. Check out this site by clicking on image below
Free Traffic Exchange; Those sites are ideal to promote any sites you may wish to do by clicking other people website to earn credits.
This site has been around for long time and lot of top marketers used this site for promoting products and websites. Check out this site by click at image above.
This site can surf for cash and credits and you may make any withdraw cash min 10 cents. When sign up this site , please sign up this account using paypal account email.
This website provide lot of features and can be useful guide to you when you need help in marketing online. You can check out this site at the left side.
Unsure Set up business part 2
when i started out on first site, i finished reading the guide. Once i got site have to submit my site to free classified ads sites. I begin hunt down free classified sites where i can post ad on those site. But to my dismay, i been doing about 2 months already still no sale from site. Luckily i don't rely on only one site. I never give up click on ads get free money get by. So i read from the guide and from website which people also got promote products from clickbank and get earn commissions from sales generated by promoting products. As i mentioned earlier on, there is multiple streams of income to be earned online.
Back to topics, i would like to recommend this 2 sites which are free to join and sign up. It will be useful for newbies who need learn how to set up business. Great program started on. Oh i need to stress that you must be motivated enough to be serious marketing in order make income online.
Check out on that image.
I find this program quite good guide and have instructions how to get started on. Out to people there, don't lose focus or get distracted by so many called programs ask you to sign up. Decision is up to you. :)
Check out this program by click at image i post above.
Once i registered for program which is totally free to join and sign up, i was immediately sponsored by my upline who has helped me to move up a rank by made purchases. I can't believe with my eyes that i keep getting notifications from my inbox saying i have new additions of people who sign up under me. It keep my eyes wider people from around the world. Then i was wondering how did i do that? I recall i never put much efforts in promoting this site. Only post at few sites such as traffic exchange. So funny thing is that i joined this site recently and have good things coming my way. whereas my boyfriend got joined this site 1 or 2 years ago never do any promoting and never gotten same things as me. =) perhaps i guess those programs you joined may provide varying results you may not expected. Results may varying to each individuals. Meaning that you must be serious in marketing. though everything may seems tough at first. Anyway, have fun learning and get to experience for yourself how to do marketing.
I also hope other people will benefit from 2 programs i recommend and succeed in whatever they do. Your success also mean my success too. =)
Unsure how to set up business online Part 1
Anyone who wish to set up online business part time or full time?
I first time check out those earn free money websites den explore around internet. I never do much research and find obstacles to make sales. I was badly hit as i paid so much $$ for membership site which i have been promoting by using free classified ad and Google Adwords. But i knew that membership site is not GET Rich Quick Scheme. Start up website can be quite headaches for those don't know how to get started. If you paid for it, there is someone who will help you set up website. There is guide for you how to get started once you paid for membership site. as i wish to repeat this is not Get Rich Quick Scheme. You have to learn How to market this site, program or etc ...
This is my first membership site i tried out and you may check out by clicking highlight membership. This site owner will reply to you shortly once you done register or u need help. She will help you out but mostly you have to rely on yourself about how to advertise and promote this site.
Ways of earn income online
What are most effective methods drive traffic to the websites you signed up? How to get people visit your blog, join those sites under your referral links? I can state few methods in here. Various ways may give varying results depend on each individuals. Who don't want have share of pie $$$ online estimated will earn more money than your current job? You may have this doubts IS IT POSSIBLE? yeah i also have this doubts too. You can work online part time basis without quit your current job. Just earn passive income online mean extra cash in your pockets.
Ways of promoting sites, products, Blogs or affiliaties program;
- Do advertisement for the site. The question ?? is how? When i started out , i also don't know How? haha i simply explore around an click click on any sites i chance upon. O.O yeah those report from TOP marketing expert will tell you how 2 make $$$ but u have to fork out $$ for it. Is advertising expensive ? Yes only some expensive is using Google Adwords don't really drive visitors to your site but will help if you think of creative wordings as Impact to people. But if your budget is limited, got some are free but will be long time before you can see results.
- Free advertisment is done by post articles, or post at free classified ads, free traffic exchanges or emailing, lastly blog also is free too.
- Subscribe to newsletter.
- Earlier post i put can earn free money from few sites i mention can be used to invest on those sites you may wish set up business online without fork out money from your pockets.
- First i think it will be wise to learn from those free websites and before you can take plunge into those programs who can make you RICH. But results may vary for some.
Earn money in simple ways of clicking ads at PTC n PTR websites
Low payouts of US$0.25. Free to join and get $$$ in shorter time. Click at this website ClixnCash You will receive payment which is done through Paypal. If you don't have account, click paypal.
Those websites will pay you US $10 and free to join it.
Tips on how to begin earning income online
I begin explore online from last year dec which i paid fully for membership website. I have learn harsh lessons from what i must do some research on the sites and compare lot of online sites where i can get it for free. Sigh too late regret. I just take it as learning journey. I can say i learned quite alot from online by myself. I need remind you that this site i paid fully is not Get Rich Quick scheme. A lot of time need to learn how to market and promote this site. It need traffic drive to the site is no mean feat to do so. How you going to do that without traffic? Lot of people gotten rich from blogs, internet marketing etc so. True multiple streams of income can be earned online. However, i do simple stuffs like earn free money online like clicking ads though not much money. I can mention few sites which you can earn abit of money but you need recommend to your friends know about it so you have easy time earn payout within short period. But don't try make multiple accounts as they will track it down and terminate your accounts. I can't explain details in here as it can make my blog rather long winded. hehe =) let's move to basic and simple stuffs
Warm evening of New Year Eve
I was on the verge of breakdown. How to achieve a Success in making income online? Is it hype?
I hear that people write anything on the blog which can earn them income. Yes it may vary to individuals. I was newbie to blogging. Haha i have write on blog before somewhere else. Cannot reveal here. winks. What is my aim in starting blog? Will my blog attract people?
Hmm i know what's my aim and purpose? I can use this write my frustrations, advice on how to begin earn income and write stories. My first time try experiment with this blog which i am aiming link with other website who will pay me $$$. lol ^o^ So my blog seems empty at moment but will update various few things. You will know in time to come.
